Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
