After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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