I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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