I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
