would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
