stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
