my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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