id be glad to
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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