its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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