I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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