The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
