it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
