worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
