Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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