the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
