All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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