I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do vagina's smell?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
