Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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