a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
