My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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