Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
