whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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