i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
