Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
