Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
