People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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