we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
