Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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