But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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