my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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