if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
