He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
