Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
