i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
