At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
