There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't put those talents on a resume
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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