Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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