just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
