rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
