You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
