did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
