it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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