I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
