Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
