Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
