I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
