Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
