Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
