sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Damn victory sex feels great
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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