Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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