He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
