Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
