No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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