wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
