I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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