dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
