I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Two words: nipple clamps
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