Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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