We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
